Joie, a party-girl?

for some of you who don't know me very well,
or maybe THINK you know me
i'll have you know
there is a party going on in my brain.

constantly.


i've only been invited to this party a handful of times.
in fact, this party may have been
going on for years under(above/behind) my nose,
but it's hard to know really.

my first time to the party was was about 2 1/2 years ago
and it was pretty embarrassing
i convulsed violently
stopped breathing
came to in a zombie-like state for about an hour
fought with paramedics in my underwear
finally regained consciousness in the ER

luckily, i have no memory of going to party at all
--tragically, Adam does :(

some of you may have figured out
that the "party" i'm refering to is
my epilepsy.
i don't mean to be glib about a very
serious condition,
but sometimes it's hard
for even me
to understand what's going on.

i went to the party 5 times
over a two week period.
ironically, only at night.
when i finally got in to see a neurologist(special party-doctor),
he ordered a battery of very expensive tests
my knight in shining armor
Adam
sold his beautiful motorcycle
to pay for them

one of the tests was an EEG(electroencephalogram)
which basically measures
how the neurons in my brain
fire electricity back and forth.

to make sure they could capture the party at its wildest
i needed to be
deprived of sleep
given verbal commands and
have a strobe light going off incessantly in my face.
(no joke and all essential elements of a good party)


this is what a normal brain looks like:

apparently, my brain looks something similar to this:(not my actual test)
i was
thereafter
promptly medicated
and haven't been to a party since.


well, last week i had the test done again
(blessing of insurance)
to see if the party was still going on...





it is.




keep waiting party people.
i don't plan on attending any time soon.