Life's Challenges

Multiple times while I was growing up I heard my mom deliver some variation on the following quote from an unknown source: "If everyone took their problems and threw them into a big pile and you saw everyone else's; you would dive in to get yours back." As a teenager, this response to my adolescent crisis garnered a reaction of eye-rolling and dramatic sighs. At the time it simply meant that my mother had no sympathy for whatever I found myself complaining about at the moment. I guess it was her not-so-subtle way of letting me know that I was being self-absorbed and that life could be worse. Fast-forward fifteen(yes, I'm that old!) years and I find myself thinking people identify so much with their problems and challenges that I don't know if they would even know what to throw into the pile, because somehow they have become their challenges.

Last night I went to the chapel and listened to the broadcast that Elder Ballard, Elder Cook, and Elder Clayton presented on the topic of Proposition 8. In one month the people of California will vote on what the definition of marriage should be. The churches position on this issue is unquestionable and when apostles of God speak, I listen. I support prop 8 and I defend traditional marriage, because it is a commandment, because it is right, and because I know that it brings eternal happiness.


However, I am not without compassion. I live in the Stake with the highest number of gay/lesbian couples per capita in the nation. There are good people here. They are kind, compassionate, hard-working, and they have relationships that aside from gender are no different from anyone else's. I have known individuals who are members of the church and struggled with knowing what is right in the eyes of God and wondering what is wrong with them. It is hard to see God's children suffer and wonder why they have different tendencies and inclinations. Adam and I were having a conversation with our neighbor and she mentioned how hard it would be imagine a life without romantic love. It's true. You can love family members and friends deeply, but romantic love is very different. It might seem unfair that those with gay tendencies would have to abstain and remain celibate for a lifetime with no hope of romantic love, but then I thought, they are not alone. My youngest brother, Tori, has some form of Autism coupled with epilepsy that has left him with the mental capacity of 12/13-year-old and he will likely never marry in this lifetime. He understands what marriage is and has witnessed both mine and my brother's weddings. I am certain he feels some sense of sadness that he may never experience marriage here on earth and that breaks my heart to think that he and many others must forgo that blessing during this life.


I am certain to be preaching to the choir, but my point is that homosexuality has become something by which people define themselves. It would never get cast into the pile of problems, because it is seemingly inseparable from the spirit. Gender is a very important characteristic of who we are, but it is not the only one. Behavior is what counts the most. I don't even pretend to know why some people's challenges--be they physical, psychological, emotional or even challenges of identity--seem to be worse than others. I know there is purpose in all the Heavenly Father has planned for us and that he will not test us beyond our ability to endure. So the wisdom of my mother comes full circle. Because I know that God knows me best and knows exactly what I can handle, I would gladly dive to the bottom the "the pile" and retrieve my own challenges.