R.I.P.

So today I picked up the mail and as residents of this unique community on the bay we received our fall edition of the Sausalito magazine apprising us of community events(courtesy belly-shot). Now, I am often cynical about this community because the lifestyles are very foreign to me, but I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and see what is important to my neighbors. As I flip through the magazine I see the usual articles that represent the predominant demographics and the real pressing issues: "What is the Edgewater Senior Club up to?", "72-hour parking limit on city streets", and of course it wouldn't be Sausalito without the anticipated article called "Ted's Place" which is so quaintly narrated by a local dog.

One of the most interesting parts of the magazine is at the end of the publication where they outline what classes and seminars will be offered throughout the season. This always gives me a very good profile of the community and people that live here. Some of the classes I see every season are pretty traditional: ballet, tennis, oil painting...some are more unique to this part of the country: basket weaving, wine tasting, and rowing in the ocean...some even cross over into the realm of the strange like pet CPR and self-hypnosis with a bedroom voice(don't ask). Every once in a while we are graced with a jewel of a class, one that has me laughing straight out the gate....



For a mere $35 this 3-hour seminar promises you will learn the following:

• What you really want carved into your headstone
• How to make a haiku-short headstone statement about your century-long life
• How to use that statement to enhance your life now
• Some examples of the best and worst epitaphs
  
• The pros and cons of purchasing cemetery property before you need it
• The many uses of a headstone before it is permanently planted (my favorite)

Maybe I have been sitting around at home too long trying to entertain myself as I wait to give birth, but I could not stop chuckling about the fact that they were seriously presenting this as a viable class to the large population of retirees that reside in Sausalito. The last instructions of the passage are " Wear comfortable clothes, preferably black; bring a pen, a chisel and a sense of adventure."

All joking aside, these folks may be a little distraught when they realize that their epitaph isn't the last that will be seen or heard of them...