Friday, February 18, 2011

8teen

Maximus and his parents have survived a whole eighteen months. I know it sounds totally cliche, but it does seem like yesterday that we were bringing Max home over the Golden Gate Bridge. Now he is a big brother and I often have to remind myself that he is still so much a baby in many ways. feb47.jpg
Adam and I are often shaking our heads and trying to catch our breath with this little guy. We go to church and look around at the other little kids and we don't see any in his age group with the same strong, defiant, stubborn will as Max. Sometimes I suppose it can be embarrassing, because in the same situation I might tend to think that the parents are too lax and need get their kid under control, but this is what I get for being judgemental. Max has an attention span of about 60 seconds unless he is watching Blues Clues, Elmo, or one of a handful of DVDs he has seen dozens of times. He refuses to be shown anything new. If you try to teach him how to play with a toy, he immediately assumes you are taking it from him and throws himself to the couch with his head down to pout. I get this same reaction about 50 times a day. Whenever I try to initiate play with him, if I don't get his juice fast enough, if he doesn't like his food, if I tell him to stop playing in the trash can, or stop pushing the buttons on the t.v. a tantrum ensues. The concept of "if you perform some action--then you will get to do what you want" is totally lost on him still. He wants what he wants, right.now.

He is fearless. He will run into a crowd, out in the street, or out of my view in a store without hesitation. No separation anxiety for this boy. The only reason he cries when we leave is not because he will miss us, but because he can't go outside too. He does not listen worth beans. I could yell and repeat myself until I am blue in the face and he will continue to do whatever he is doing. We have started giving him time-outs in his bed, because make no mistake, his is very intelligent, and though we may not be able to reason with him, repetition is our only means of helping him understand that actions have consequences. Although, sometimes he just doesn't seem to care and I just have to keep reminding myself that it's all about consistency.

Many times people ask me if he loves Dempsey and if he is a good big brother. Ummmm, not really. He is still a baby himself and requires a lot of attention. He hardly acknowledges her existence, until recently she has begun grabbing his books and toys and he gets infuriated. We have a lot to learn about sharing. He's not so much the nurturing type. On the other hand, he loves to get praise from Momma and Dadda, so he will give her kisses on the head, whenever he is in a good mood, because we will tell him what a good boy he is... md1.jpg
Yes, he is intense about 75% of the time. However, I've learned to read him(cope) and can most of the time either avoid a melt down or diffuse one. Despite his high octane personality, he can be really sweet. He has always been very vocal, he has a very large vocabulary for his age, but I think his inability to communicate clearly is what fuels many of his tantrums, so I am hoping his disposition will improve with his capacity to speak. He is in a very affectionate stage and he loves to give kisses and has finally figured out how to make the puckering noises to go with them. He loves going outside more than anything in the world(except playing with doors), he is fascinated by his shadow and will also give it kisses in the air. He wants to run aimlessly and just yells into the wind because he so happy to be free.
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Doors.
Any kind, anywhere. We could be at the park trying to show him how fun the slides are, but the second he gets to the bottom he bolts for the closest door he can find...which is usually the restroom. Open, shut, open, shut, if we would let him he would just do that all day long. He is very mechanically minded and is always pulling things apart, turning them upside down to see how they work. Definitely all boy.

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He likes to dance. It is the cutest thing ever. I don't know where he learned it, but whenever he hears some music he lifts up his elbows, alternates moving each shoulder up and down and then bounces his knees so his little bum shakes...so funny. He has no patience for reading books. He has certain pages he wants to look at and then he is done. When he was really little I used to read him these two books that had prayers in the end and so the last word was always "Amen." Now whenever he gets to the end of any book he says, "Amen!" When he gets excited or really mad he will say every word he knows which usually consists of, "mama, dada, becca, nana, clock, ball, moon(boof), hat, car, house, what's that, wow, juice, cak(cookie), elmo, nemo, blues, shadow, light(nat), allgone, and probably a few others I can't remember.


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We really love this little guy. Even though he challenges us everyday we know that he is a very strong spirit saved for a very scary world. We always hope and pray we can give him the love and guidance he needs to grow up and be the man he is meant to be.

10 comments:

The Haskin Family!!!! said...

OH too fun!! He sounds like Zoie with the not listening and throwing fits!!! wow I hope too that it was go away once she can talk better!

When ya coming to visit?

Ora said...

Holy cow he looks so grown up! Max sounds like a familiar character! We are going bonkers waiting for it to get warm to start going to the parks again.. I bet he feels the same way!

Cynthia said...

I love reading your blog. This post had me cracking up. Leila is becoming a very difficult child too. She is very stubborn and won't sit still long enough to read a book either. She cries for a good chuck of the day too. Seems like all my other mom friends have perfect babies who are chill and just go with the flow. Rarely do they cry. To be honest, I really enjoyed reading that I'm not the only one with a difficult child. I've been trying to figure out a way to nicely blog about how high maintenance Leila has become. You wrote it perfectly.

That adorable little Maximus was sent to you because only you have to patience to deal with his craziness. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

And I think it's so cute that he is obsessed with doors, at least you know if there is a door close by, he'll be entertained.

Kristi said...

What a handsome little boy! You are such a good mother, so much of this reminded me of my oldest boy. When people would give me looks at church for how he acted, I would try and remind myself that he has his personality like it is for a reason, and the times are going to be so hard when they get older, I am glad that he knows what he wants and goes for it without worrying about what anyone else thinks... lol, didn't always help. One lady once told me her son (thirty years before this) was the same way, and a lady told her his spirit was just too big for his little body. :)

Merm said...

Oh I was just laughing at this post! YOu have one strong minded little boy! He is ADORABLE! It was funny to read this... because he seems so much older than Troop but they are the same age. It is crazy how different a second child is! I remember feeling some of the same feelings with Zanna... disciplining her and what not and she was so strong minded. With Troop he still seems like such a baby because he is the youngest. Zanna is generally the one getting into trouble, talking back, things of that nature so Troops funny little tantrums seem so minute, most of the time I just giggle at him. I imagine that is how it will be for you with dempsey! I guess the oldest in the family has to be strong minded to pave the way for the other little ones!

Oh and funny story. So remember your comment about our "snow machining"? Well I never say snow machining... but for some reason when I was blogging, snow machining seemed so much easier to type than snow mobiling... it was almost like this battle in my head, but I went with snow machining... Then you left your comment and I just busted up laughing!!

The Standrings said...

i can't believe you have TWO kids, joie, and the oldest is 18 months. talk about superwoman. when max grows up, he won't be afraid to stick up for the kids that are getting picked on, and he won't be afraid to share the gospel. he may have a strong personality now but i have no doubt you guys will channel his little energy the right way and he will be one amazing kid.

Christine said...

Sigh, they grow so fast. Aren't little boys just so fun?!

Dan said...

Great Looking Fire Place. We want to re-do ours but by the looks of it we couldn't afford Adam.

Lisa's PLE said...

Joie, your children are beautiful! And, they are getting so big. I can't even believe it. I bet you are the best mom ever! I absolutely LOVE Adams stone work! I love the artsy cabin feeling homes, and he does such amazing work! It looks like life is treating you guys well. I wish we were closer and could come visit. I miss our fun excursions together.

The Fennells said...

Oops, that last one was me but I was logged into my stupid blog for an old class. haha